We all know the feeling. Monday morning rolls around and we hustle and bustle in order to make it to work on time…feeling the Monday blues. I am guilty of this so often. Due to the fact that I tend to enjoy myself immensely on the weekends, Monday always seems much more dreadful than it actually needs to be. But today was completely different for me; I had the blues for another reason. A valid and very legitimate reason. You see, I am a teacher. I have been a teacher for my entire adult life. I have influenced and taught 10 classrooms full of eager 1st and 2nd grade students throughout my career and on Friday, December 14, 2012, my heart broke.
I first learned of the tragedy that struck Newtown, CT around 11:15 that morning, minutes before taking my own group of 25 students outside for recess. At that time, I was not aware of any details regarding the situation, only that there had been a school shooting somewhere in Connecticut and the school was being evacuated. This obviously left an unsettling feeling within me, however, it wasn’t until later, during my lunch break, that I really began to process the entire scope of what had happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
Learning of this horror while in the prescience of children certainly intensified the emotions that washed over me. As I picked up my students from the cafeteria, one of them asked me, “Ms. Phillips, why do you look so sad?” My heart broke all over again. The thought of these innocent babies even knowing of such a tragedy was enough to make me cry…I couldn’t even fathom them being victims of such a horrific event.
This morning, as I prepared to face Monday, I felt grateful that I was even granted the opportunity to once again go to school and teach my children. I cannot begin to imagine how it must feel for the surviving teachers/staff, students and parents that are a part of the Sandy Hook family. In the wake of such a horrible event, I am still in disbelief and words cannot convey how my heart aches for the individuals in mourning throughout their community.
As I came into my classroom this morning and while walking my children down the quiet hallways of my school, I found my thoughts drifting to “what if’s”…scenarios of how this could have easily occurred at my school and that was downright terrifying. I quickly had to refocus my thoughts to those of gratitude and smile at my children instead…knowing that if I was faced with the task of keeping my students safe amongst chaos, I would do all that I could to protect them, just as any educator would because, the truth of the matter is, although as teachers we are often scrutinized, we come to love your children just as you do. We challenge them to work hard…we instill in them that they are worthy, important, loved and valuable…we teach them to be kind and tolerant of others, regardless of their differences…we show them, through our words and actions, peace.
If we can learn one lesson from this incomprehensible tragedy, may it be the influence we, as adults, have on the youth of our society and one another. Do your best to develop a culture within your home that evokes love…then share this everywhere you go. Even when you feel as though someone is not deserving…love them anyway. Make changes in the way you communicate in our world and encourage others to do the same. Laws cannot change the hearts of people, but your kind words, or even a simple smile could make all the difference to one hurting or lonely soul.
Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutionsKahlil Gibran
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